Don't Ruin an Apology

In marriage, there will inevitably be times when we hurt our spouse, whether intentionally or not. When this happens, the natural response is often to offer an apology - but be careful, because as the saying goes, "Do not ruin an apology with an excuse."

Excuses and justifications may make us feel better in the moment, but they undermine the sincerity of our remorse and can further damage the relationship. Instead, a true apology requires humility, vulnerability, and a willingness to take full responsibility for our actions.

As Proverbs 28:13 reminds us, "Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy." When we humbly confess our faults without making excuses, we open the door for forgiveness, healing, and a stronger marriage.

Of course, this is easier said than done. After all, who doesn't love a good "but you did this..." or a "if only you hadn't..." But resist the temptation! Instead, try something like, "I was wrong to [specific action]. I take full responsibility, and I'm sorry for hurting you. How can I make this right?"

Not only will this type of apology be more effective, but it may even elicit a chuckle from your spouse. After all, laughter can be the best medicine, even in the midst of conflict. Just avoid any cheesy clichés like, "I'm sorry, honey-bunny, but you know I love you more than life itself!"

By learning to apologise without excuse, you'll be well on your way to building a marriage that is marked by mutual understanding and grace.