Fear is a normal human response, but it doesn’t have to run your child’s life. With calm coaching, small brave steps, and God’s steady presence, children can learn to face worries with wisdom and courage. “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you” (Psalm 56:3, NIV).

Step 1: Pause, Pray, and Steady Yourself

Why it works: Kids borrow our nervous system. Your calm helps their calm (co-regulation).
How to do it (30–60 seconds):

• Inhale slowly through the nose for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat 2–3 times.
• Whisper a 10-second prayer: “Lord Jesus, You are near (Philippians 4:5–7). Help me bring peace to my child right now.”

Step 2: Connect Before You Correct

Why it works: Feeling understood lowers anxiety.
Say:

• “I can see your body feels jumpy. I’m here. You’re safe with me.”
• Get low, soften your voice, offer a gentle touch if your child likes touch.

Step 3: Name It to Tame It

Why it works: Labelling feelings reduces intensity.
Tool: “Feelings Scale” (0–10).
Say:

• “Is your worry a 3, 6, or 9 right now?”
• “Where do you feel it—tummy, chest, head?”

Step 4: Calm the Body (3 quick tools)

1. Balloon Breathing: Hands on tummy; “Fill the balloon… and slooowly let it float.” 5 breaths.
2. 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding: Name 5 things you see… down to 1 deep breath.
3. Squeeze & Release: Tighten fists/shoulders for 5, relax for 10. 3 rounds.

Faith tie-in: “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1)

Step 5: Thought Swap (Truth over “What if…?”)

Why it works: Gently challenges catastrophic thoughts.

• Child’s worry: “What if I mess up?”
• Truth swap: “Even if I make a mistake, I can try again. God is with me.” (Isaiah 41:10; 1 Peter 5:7)
• Keep it short and believable. Avoid arguing—model and repeat calmly.

Step 6: Build a “Brave Ladder”

Why it works: Gradual exposure teaches the brain “I can do hard things safely.”
How to:

1. Pick a goal (e.g., sleeping in own bed).
2. Break into 6–8 tiny steps (from easiest to hardest).
   • Step 1: 2 minutes in own bed with mum in doorway.
   • Step 2: 5 minutes in own bed with mum down the hall.
   • …
   • Final step: Full night in own bed.
3. Practise one step daily until it’s a 3/10 on the worry scale, then move up.

Faith tie-in verse to memorise this week: “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

Step 7: Practise Through Play

Why it works: Play rewires fear pathways more gently than lectures.

• Role-play: Act out the scary moment with stuffed animals; let your child be the “coach.”
• Story flip: Turn the worry into a mini comic where the hero chooses one brave step.
• Silly power: Name the worry (e.g., “Sir What-If”) and speak truth to it.

Step 8: Guard Routines & Inputs

Why it works: Brains need rhythm to feel safe.

• Sleep: Consistent bedtime; wind-down routine (dim lights, story, prayer).
• Screens: Avoid intense/violent content near bedtime; keep devices out of the room.
• Food & movement: Balanced meals; fresh air daily; hydration.
• Environment: Predictable morning/bed routines; visual timetable for worriers.

Step 9: Reward Effort, Not Just Outcomes

Why it works: Anxiety shrinks through attempts.

• Brave Points/Jar: 1 point for every brave step tried, even if imperfect.
• Let child swap points for simple rewards (choose dessert, game with mum/dad, extra story).

Step 10: Pray and Bless

Child’s prayer (repeat together):
“Jesus, when I feel afraid, help me breathe, try one brave step, and remember You are with me. Amen.”
Parent blessing (Numbers 6:24–26):
“The Lord bless you and keep you… give you peace.”

Quick Reference Scripts

• Name & normalise: “Many kids feel wobbly sometimes. Your feeling is real, and it will pass.”
• Coach a step: “What is one tiny brave thing we can try for two minutes?”
• After action: “You tried even though it felt hard—that’s real courage.”